Monday, May 31, 2010

Being Single Again

An interesting thing about being single again is simply the different way my time is filled. And yes, it is quite filled.

My social life is quite present, but has a very different slant. I'm blessed with girl friends -- friends who call me, invite me out, suggest activities, come by to visit, receive my phone calls and give me love and support when I've my moments of being down.

Thus I've been out to concerts, made a beaded necklace, received great massages in exchange for English conversation, gone to yoga class, am going out to an English/French networking evening, worked in my garden, cleaned out my pool, been to school meetings, explored Aix-en-Provence... and all this when I'm not touring my now plentiful clients visiting Provence.

I've time -- perhaps at long last? -- to take care of myself. Yes, massage is one thing, as are healers of other sorts. Myself and my larger self including my home, my garden, my children, my friends are benefiting from greater attention and focus.

I've time to be conscious.

I'm not running about with my head cut off. Rather than rush through a bit of cleaning Friday afternoon or Monday morning, I do it calmly on Saturday.

I'm still going out dancing, but to places I know where I'm received by friends and fellow students from class. No more evenings out at restaurants, and fewer movies in movie houses (I prefer the less expensive internet options these days).

Avignon is a hot house of theatre, artists, funky and friendly folk. A very different feeling from the more bourgeois Nîmes.

It's all just more relaxing, accepting. It's also a more international vibe. Nîmes and Vauvert were far more French. I know that sounds odd, but t'is true. The small town scene of the Vauvert market is far different than the bustle and movement of St. Rémy de Provence, Ile-sur-la-Sorgue or Aix-en-Provence. And downtown Avignon is filled to bursting with tourists these days. Thus I'm surrounded by English, German, Dutch and Japanese, to name a few.

As the birds singing in the trees outside my windows awake me with the sun (about 6:15 these days), I emerge into a different state of mind, a different world, a shifting reality.

I still have my moments of being down. But I am also very very grateful for what I do have. Slowly, I'll make sense of what I lived, thought, felt, chose. Slowly I'm growing, learning, adapting, evolving.

Slowly.

3 comments:

Elizabethd said...

It takes time.

Dade said...

Madeleine,

I'm sorry you have moments of sadness. Having been through a divorce myself, I know it is rough. But it is also liberating. Hang in there.

Dade

Madeleine Vedel said...

thank you friends, yes, it takes time.