Questions and Conversations with Leo

The other day Leo (now 14 plus, tall, shaving, with serious physical presence) asked me what I'd most appreciated about the men I've dated/lived with/married. I'm not sure exactly where this came from. Perhaps brought about by my extolling the pleasure I took in seeing an old friend from university the other day, in being with someone who's loved me (as a friend) for over 20 years? How restful and wonderful it made me feel. I who seem to be so often in the opposite situation of being with people who are in their initial experience of me, judging, observing, wondering, discovering, etc.,

Or, more likely, Leo is simply growing up and considering what it is to be in a relationship and what a woman (me being the archetype of such for him) looks for, loves, wants in a man. We've discussed this before, but here we were getting quite specific.

So, first there was the serious university and early adult relationship I had. What did we have together? well, intellectual equality, the same age, a great friendship, we could truly count on each other, a very powerful bond and attraction. What didn't work? Numerous friends who didn't like us being together, and for some odd reason, the feeling that we weren't really more as a couple then we were individually. [Leo got a bit hung up on one detail -- as this person worked at Microsoft and had stock options, etc., Leo thinks that if we'd stayed together I'd be rich now. That this isn't something that came into play for me then or now is hard for Leo to understand. But yes, I get it that he'd like us to be better off.]

Next up, my kids' father: On the plus side, a great partner for creating two businesses and putting two children on this earth. I became more, and learned more alongside him; I tapped talents in myself that I'd been completely unaware of. We complemented each other and balanced each other, for a time. I'll not go into the negative here. Suffice to say, we still get along very very well, but being married to each other was/is no longer viable.

And then my vintner: A powerful attraction, much to learn, the chance to be truly female again. Negatives - his age, his inflexibility, our being out of sync on many levels (i.e. raising and caring for kids!!).

And currently, a lovely man with whom I dance the tango very well, who is an attentive and invested father to his boys and who has a great sense of humor.  That we're close in age and on the same track raising kids is a major plus. The hard parts? physical distance, busy schedules, not a lot of time together, and I'm still alone raising my boys (which is something I've more or less accepted at this point).

And so, with this list Leo asked me, if you put all the good elements together would that make the perfect man for you? Um, yes, are you going to put an ad out for me?

And today was another day

Well, I don't necessarily take back what I wrote yesterday, but, I do modify it. Today, the whole household -- which was the younger two short -- was lovely, superb, delightful. I'll keep them.

Upon our return from school I asked that Leo and our younger boy saw the thick fig tree branches sitting outside since this summer into lengths that would fit into the wood stove. Together (amazing) they did nearly all of it. Forty-five minutes of civilized, shared labor between these very very different twelve year olds. Ahhhh, it does the heart good. It wasn't a perfect job, they'll need to re-cut 15 or so branches that are too long, but, hey, it's mostly done and I'm just going to bask in this golden moment.

Later, the idea of crêpes for a snack came up. But then they all went through my bread and the various boxes of cereal in the house (Leo finished off the Cheerios carried across the Atlantic by our cousin). Nevertheless, the idea stuck in at least one child's head. While Leo, our teen girl and I watched Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse in The Band Wagon, our young boy came upstairs to ask me for the recipe:

4 eggs, enough flour whisked in to make a thick paste, milk whisked in till the texture of cream, a touch of salt, a spoonful of sugar.

Happily taking this in, he returned downstairs. And as we watched Fred slink across the jazzy stage with the leggy Cyd Charisse, the lovely scent of crêpes wafted up to us.

Movie over, down we three went to enjoy a feast prepared by a child who was truly angelic today. Just goes to show, don't over react (me) and open the door and space to possibilities. Children can, and often will, surprise you. And yes, I both acknowledged and thanked him. I firmly believe in praising good behavior!!

Caring for Other People's Children

This is my second year hosting other people's children in my home. Last year, the number never went over three, and the kids were older -- proper teens or nearly. Thus, I had to feed them, house them, pay for the hot water of their showers, the electric heater in the girls' room, do extra laundry, and often, add in trips to school for their older kid schedules. But that was pretty much it.

As a plus, I was able to go to my tango class every Thursday, knowing the household was under control. I could crash early if I felt particularly weary or fell sick, and ditto, know that the next morning I'd find the kitchen pretty clean, and the kids in good shape.

This is not the case this year. Little did I realize when I agreed (I had little choice) to take in these pré-ados that I was setting myself up for a lot more work this year. Ten, twelve and thirteen year olds rarely come to a new home fully-formed and educated. And, they come with burgeoning hormones, new levels of moodines they have yet to master, and, if they're only children, with spoiled behaviors.

Thus, I am finding myself getting firmer and more strict by the day. If the dishes are incorrectly washed, you get to do them again in the morning. If there is a spill on the floor, yes, you will go and get the mop and clean it up yourself.

But what riles me the most is the lack of initiative and the resistence to helping. If I put a trash bag by the front door, they will move it out of the way so they can go out to play. But, pick it up and bring it to the trash can? It doesn't cross their mind. If, as they go outside they brush against a coat and knock it to the floor, they leave it, and if needs be walk atop it. Pick it up and put it back where it belongs? Hunh? And a classic: Filou has a tendency to vomit up a bit of water if he drinks too quickly. Simply water with a touch of bile, no more. They will point it out to me up to hours later so that I can clean it up. God forbid a one of them grab a sponge or a couple of sheets of paper towels to wipe it up themselves. I'm floored.

If the designated child for tonight's dish-doing isn't there, I have no offers to help, but must give a firm request (that cannot be ignored) to one of them that he/she do the dishes this night in the stead of the other (with the promise that on their night, they'll be off dish-duty). And to this I get, No, I don't want to do the dishes tonight. And I say, sorry buster, you are going to do them. Period!

I've kept the tone of my voice down, but I'm just startled by the selfish, me-first attitudes I'm getting. I'm also very annoyed by the constant bickering and pretty nasty comments going on from my teen girl towards our more difficult young boy. It truly is not necessary and it certainly doesn't help.

But these two, far more than the others, respond to all situations by making them worse. They are the first to over-react, the first to duck out of jobs, the first to snap and tease. There are moments I just have a hard time even liking them. How do kids get this way? I've forbidden Leo to listen too much to them, and am begging him not to be influenced! Stay pleasant and helpful, I beg you! And to Jonas, watch it my man, you too need to start helping out more. Being the youngest is an excuse that is wearing thin.

When I've slept a good night's sleep, I awake with more patience, and the realization that de facto I've taken on their education as well as their selves. I've even had comments from the parents that they feel the kids are doing better under my roof than they were before.

But, I'm wavering. Winter is coming and I'm feeling the desire to hibernate. I want to cuddle with my boys around a Fred Astaire movie, with a hot cup of tea in our hands. I'm feeling a bit out of my depth handling these children day after day. And yes, as JP noted, I arrived every weekend this month in need of sleep and rest, not perky and ready for romance. I'm feeling the strain.

Vacation is just two days away. A restorative period will be beneficial to us all. I know that I in particular have mood swings linked to weariness/energy level. So, if I can hunker down and care for me, the boys and the house as I need to over vacation, I should be able to start up again with the necessary verve to get through to Christmas.

I am learning, yet again, my physical and mental limits, (so porous on most occasions). I am also gaining in respect for teachers and child-care professionals on all levels. How can this extraordinarily important and exhausting activity be so poorly recompensed in our socieities? It just baffles the mind.

Leo, minus the mustache

As we hung out for an hour or more working our way across Avignon, I took a moment to photograph my now clean-shaven twelve year old.

Believe you me, his mustache was dark and thick! He rarely noticed it till our female boarders teased him (gently) about it. With the help of our thirteen year old girl, and a plastic green razor (new) from my pink packet of razors, he carefully removed his facial hair. T'was the night before the school photos after all.

However, cut his hair? No, he prefers the long bangs in your eyes look. And don't get me started on the time he spends in front of the bathroom mirror after every shower combing and re-combing and shaking those bangs!

My household: coming together?

Well, perhaps you've been wondering where I'm at with the pressure cooker that is my household? Six children, a dog, a few too many mice and me?

I had a long chat with my contrary young man's mother this weekend. She was most startled when I intimated that he might need to change homes. Apparently, she finds he's doing better this year than in the past, and that our household is having a good effect on him. All for the better, and yet, I left myself an out by expressing the extreme weariness these house-hold blow-ups engender in me. It's always on a Thursday. Thursday night is akin to the full moon at the local emergency room. Excepting that it occurs four times monthly, not just once! All the horrors of my past month -- the car breaking down, both household explosions, Gaetan's broken arm -- have happened on Thursdays. And to think, these were to be my lovely goat-cheese making days.

Mother to mother, we spoke and shared examples of her son's rigidity, his dislike of helping out, his tendency to pull the girls away from my boys, etc., I was careful to praise his initiatives, his ambition, his drive and his energy, before going on to discuss his remarkably tackless--though proudly direct--manner of sharing how he feels and thinks. She's pleased that he is speaking out (apparently this is relatively new for him), but listened as I expressed that cushioning his verbal attacks with a bit of grace and politesse might go a long way in endearing him to the household.

I shared with her last Tuesday morning's debacle when Gaetan had turned off our young man's alarm clock to assure himself a more tranquil morning; and that when he awoke and realized this, our young man did everything in his power to wreck that tranquil morning, turning on every light, making tons of noise (which traveled up to my room awaking me, and for which I was quite upset). I shared with her as well the more appealing image of Leo and he paying court to our teen girl, taking turns holding an ice cube on her wasp sting just behind her shoulder, right above her tiny little bra strap. It was a charming and relatively innocent scene: These twelve year olds seeking the good graces of our lovely thirteen year old.

In the end, we promised to keep in touch and see how the next week fared. And, as I say goodnight to a subsequent Thursday, I can testify that this week has been far easier, far calmer than the last. Perhaps it is the wind which has knocked us all about. Or, perhaps our young man received a talking to from his mum and is trying just a bit harder to adapt to our household.

I've had a few quiet moments with him this week in which I reiterated what I'd said two Fridays ago: please make an effort towards my boys. They and I are the center of this house. You cannot live with us, and ignore them. I stressed that befriending Leo could be the key to re-accessing the social life of the household. It was our young man that set into motion the either he or Leo scenario. He excluded my boys from his games and outings with the girls for much of this month, and Thursday last, he reaped what he had sowed. If he were to cultivate Leo, the girls would be less likely to succeed at the game of playing one off the other. Part of last Thursday's distres came when the girls allowed Leo and Jonas into their room for the first time since their arrival, but in so doing, adamantly excluded our young man. It was not a fun moment for him. And yes, he wept with frustration and anger.

However, I did not feel it my place to intrude too heavily in the situation. I spoke with each individually, urging them to tell me what was going on in each of their heads and hearts, but I did not demand that the girls let him in. I clearly saw that he'd paved the way for this eventuality. Thus, to my mind he needed to live it fully.

Over and beyond these dynamics, the girls have both expressed frustration at what they see as his laziness and his lack of alacrity towards doing his tasks, or anything else in the house. He mostly does what he's signed up to do, but, there he stops. His attitude has been to do the least he can get away with. And, this has been noticed.

I spoke with him yesterday, suggesting that he try to do more. That whether or not he shares this view of how hard he works and how much he contributes, he would do well to make more of an effort if he wanted to regain the girls' respect.

Voila, two routes to reintegration in the house: cultivate Leo and do more. I would truly appreciate it if he could find a way to be with Jonas that was not exclusively teasing and putting him down, but, it seems that this is not yet a possibility. Thankfully, Gaetan, our littlest girl and Leo are all present and play-mates to Jonas. So, he is not left out in the cold, little man that he be amongst all these pre-teens.

So, for the moment, our young man stays with us. The money I get from his parents certainly helps pay my grocery bills. Though I continue to debate the value of and consequent fatigue from spending so much time teaching, correcting, adjusting, nudging. I signed up to house and feed and care for. Did I sign up to raise these children too? Last year, the boarders were older, and far more autonomous. This year, I hear myself actively scolding, encouraging, teaching, pushing, and not only for the benefit of my own children. Mostly, my crew seem quite content with the household as it is coming together and functioning. Leo certainly adores having kids to play with at all times, and would likely go through withdrawel if I didn't continue to host children. For Jonas, on the contrary, I'm not so sure.

And onward towards another week. And at the end of next week: vacation! All go home to their respective abodes, and I, recover.

Pressure Cooker on the Stove

Oh dear, the household is not coming together as I'd like. There seems to be one in particular who creates division and anger. One who reacts vengefully and angrily, with the others then fulfilling the role of chorus, or flying off the handle.

Will removing the one calm the others down? What level of group dynamics is happening here? The one was gifted at causing factions -- I think. There was a definite anti-group, anti-team, individualistic me-ness to him. Though at times, he was the motivating factor for glorious everyone-included treasure hunts and games of hide-n-seek.

Is he also the scape goat? Does his presence which once divided now unite the others in their annoyance of him?

A long chat is in store with his mother this weekend. At this point, I'm not too certain on which side the ball will tumble. Is fairness something to seek? or serenity and a cohesive, balanced household? Are they mutually exclusive or part and parcel?

A Teaching Moment - of an unusual sort

Pre-teens present all sorts of interesting opportunities for social interaction, question and answer sessions and just being. Taking a page from my aunt who mothered nine children's book of child raising, I enlist my troup in all house projects. I do my darndest to insist on participation, a certain level of enthusiasm, and actually finishing the job at hand.

However, when your thirteen year old girl says she has a tummy ache, and in fact she's got her period, and can she just sit it out? In this particuliar case it was sitting out the stacking the wood pile job. Well, it's awkward to be thirteen and it's wierd and scary having your period, so, okay, chill for a while, and do you want a pain reliever?

The pack mentality is such that, if one is missing, the others come looking. Why is she sitting down? We're not finished yet. Are you coming back out? Etc., Amongst the first to question this situation was Leo. So I said she had her period, a girl thing, and wasn't feeling so well. Oh? says Leo. And I said, haven't you learned as yet that girls bleed once a month? Hunh? says Leo.

Ah, a teaching moment presents itself. After all, twelve years old is a good age to learn something about girls, no? So, I shared the strange fact that we girls have eggs, and from the same age as he and other boys start having facial hair, a deeper voice, etc., we start menstruating. We produce an egg a month. And for this egg we make a nest in our uterus. But, if the egg isn't fertilized, if we do not have a relationship with a man, then the egg and its nest go away. And the way they leave our body is by disintegrating into blood. We bleed. Sometimes this time of the month hurts, and sometimes not. But in any case, this is something we live with for the rest of our lives till we get a few years older than I (his mother) am.

Oh. Okay, says Leo. And in the next while he was all solicitous of our very lovely pre-teen girl. It was quite touching.

That night Leo wanted me to stay later in his room so we could have one of our deep discussions. He loves these. He basically opens himself up to more teaching moments, a chance to converse at depth, to reach down into my feelings and whatever I'm willing to divulge. He also skilfully puts off that undesirable moment of Mom leaving the room and turning out the light. So, I continued on the discussion of girls, our menses, our monthly cycles, our relationship to the moon, the French and English definitions of Lunatic, the origins of the word hysterical, and some societal assumptions of why women are moody, or particularly vivacious at different times in the month. I spoke of the possibility (not all of us exhibit this, but many of us do) that women's mood variations are linked to the monthly cycle. I discussed the fact that men occasionally make rude comments about such, but that the concept is rooted in at least a modicum of truth. However, best to not to make assumptions, and yet to be aware.

As is often the case, I spoke perhaps too much, and not at a level necessarily adapted to a twelve year old. But he listens so intently, soaking up whatever is proferred. So the temptation is enormous to keep on sharing and teaching. At the very least, seeds were sown in a young man to be. May these seeds flourish, as he grows, help him better understand, or at least listen and pay attention to, the women in his life.

It's pretty cool mothering a boy.

Child Psychologist anyone?

I think I need to get a new degree and start a new career. There's something about living with four pre and full teens that stimulates conflict, confusion, emotional breakdown and the need for explanations, understanding, patience and finally, resolution. I am now proving myself a rather adept pediatric psychologist and group counselor, conflict resolutions my specialty.

Last year the dynamics were rather simple: my two little boys, and 3 teenage girls. The eldest of the girls being quite a bit older, she had authority, and could cover for me when I wasn't there. She could cook, she could organize, etc., And in general, the others fell into line.

This year, it is easier for me when I'm home -- I clearly am the adult and I can correct, direct, and exact relative obediance and contributions to the household tasks. Having ages that span Jonas' young 7, to our run from 11 - 15, they're all still young enough to listen to me. I've been able to make them accept my banishment of the computer, and when necessary, I can urge them to eat their vegetables. Early adulthood is as yet pretty far away. However, when I am not at home -- as I learned the other evening when unavoidably delayed by a broken down car on the ring road for two hours -- it's impressive the emotional damage that can occur amongst 12/13/15 year-olds.

When I returned home, at long last, I had one in tears, two ready to run off, one shaking with fury and frustration, and Jonas asking me to return the three new ones and keep only Gaetan. Woah..... As two departed on the button of my return, I began with Gaetan: please tell me what happened from your point of view. In terse and tense sentances, he spelled out the last two hours, as he had lived them. OK. Got it.

Then, the other two returned in time to accompany me to the train station to pick up a Japanese guest (just a little added element to render the evening even more challenging). OK kids, now tell me your side of the story. In infuriated bursts they communicated their point of view.

Can I go back through it all? There was a miss-use of authority on Gaetan's part -- but with good intentions, as being the eldest, he felt he was supposed to be in charge, and I hadn't clarified this as yet. There was immediate anger/ shouts, and rebuttals on the others' parts -- rather than calm the situation, the reactions were loud, insulting and strong. Then there were requests to clean up, and responses that they'd do it in their own good time. Then there were slamming doors and outings on the bikes. Return. And then Gaetan was out the door with Jonas, telling the others to sit still. Which of course, they wouldn't take from him, so they went out -- leaving my house unlocked, and empty a week after I'd been burglarized by local kids. This latter event provoked Gaetan into locking them out, which had them then throwing stones at my front door and damaging my paint job (yet another task for next spring...)

Goodness. Amazing how tempers will climb and fly off the handle, out the window and into the realm of temporary insanity.

So, I sat them each down separately. I reassured Gaetan that I appreciated his efforts, but that he is not responsible for the other big kids. That to this point, they've shown themselves honest and helpful, and that I'm sure they will continue to do so. That he keeps an eye out for Jonas is great, but not to worry beyond that. I also emphasized that the girls' room is sacred, i.e. knock gently and await an invitation before going into it. Gaetan comes from a large family (6 kids) and I sincerely doubt that bedrooms are sacred where he comes from, thus a point to make and stress.

My big girl, just 13 really, was a mess. Sad, upset, with a headache (no doubt from another female ailment), emotional, outraged, ... I reassured her that her room is sacred, that I know she is doing her best, that I trust and respect her and that I admire her integrity. That Gaetan is not there to order her about. However, flying off the handle rather than answering quietly to a request to clean up the snack area wasn't particularly helpful. And, leaving my home unlocked and empty is definitely not ok, no matter their desire to be off and biking, and no matter their sense of injustice. I caressed her hair, wiped away her tears, sat beside her in bed, and reassured her of my respect and affection for her. It would be ok. But on top of everything, her mother didn't answer the phone when she tried to call her. So, a miserable afternoon, headaches, and a non-existent parent. After consolling her again amidst her deception (with my Japanese guest looking on), I sent her upstairs to the bathroom for a super-special Lavender infused bath. At long last calm, she came down to eat dinner.

The third party is of the sort that reacts and then it's over. By the time I got downstairs, he was already back at playing cards with Gaetan, their recent dispute simply a memory, no matter that it had ended in physical shoving and hitting. But, I took time with him to be sure he was alright with things, to reassure him as well of my appreciation of his work ethic and presence these past few weeks, etc.,

It was a very intense evening. Our little 11 year-old girl provided comic relief in a most Shakespearean way, "so you're really mad most at Gaetan? Is he the one you're going to punish?" She so desperately wanted me to point out a bad guy. I disappointed her by replying that no, I wasn't mad at any of them. It had blown out of proportion, and I simply wanted to be sure such a level of misunderstanding and upset wouldn't happen again, or at least that we'd cultivate the tools in ourselves to calmer le jeu rather than exacerbate it.

An interesting element that has come in is the three new kids vs Gaetan and mine. Gaetan lived with us last year, so he knows us, he has a feeling for us. The new kids are completely new, even to the school, so they're banding together. It will take time for Gaetan to get along with them. And, from the beginning the new kids pretty much ignored Jonas, and even seemed to prefer each other to befriending Leo, who can also be rather bossy.

Such, the dynamics are flowing, stepping, shifting along. We'll see where we're at by Christmas...

Thankfully, breakfast the next day was a smooth and pleasant affair. Oophf!

Growing up so fast

Leo had a very adolescent evening the other night. Not only is he a very tall twelve, growing facial hair and sky-rocketing towards the sky, he is growing ever more serious and sensitive. I do believe there will be unforeseen side effects to my hosting a young boy six months Leo' senior (yet a head shorter) and a tall and delightful fourteen year old girl. Hormones are surging.

Post-shower, hair wet and draping ever so tantalizingly over his eyes, elegant jeans, and a half-way unbuttoned white oxford on his summer tanned skin. Whoa... this is my little boy who was climbing trees, leaping in the water and scarfing down brownies this summer? Yes, I'm his mom, but he was darn gorgeous as he showed off terribly for the benefit of our young teenage female boarders.

And, his haunches up (is that the phrase?) he was in a cocky mood: Not the best preparation for a calm session of everyone reading a paragraph each of Gulliver's travels. As we've done most evenings this week, me and my charges strew about my bed with an abbreviated version of Gulliver, highlighting his visit amongst the Lilliputians. After one turn each, Jonas looked up at me and begged that I read him a book in his room before he fell asleep atop me in mine. Thinking the group relatively stable, I went off with Jonas, leaving them to continue reading.

I hadn't taken into account male dominance theory. Leo may be bigger physically, but Mael is older by six months and quite a strong and defiant character. He also is very physical and with minimal limits imposed upon him to this point apparently. So, as I understand it, Mael teased our little eleven-year old, pinning down her arm, tickling perhaps. Leo leaped to her defense, thinking to be able to manhandle Mael off of her and by his larger size, put him in his place. But, tall though he is, Leo is not a creative fighter (as they would say here, il n'est pas trop malin). Mael easily used a manoeuvre or two with elbow and knee, winding Leo with a blow to the chest, and freed himself.

In five minutes, Leo's pride, view of the world, sense of moral order, and more were touched, and deeply. He was so riled up he was not going to sleep, and adamantly so. I spent a moment with him, gathering information and trying to figure out went had gone so very wrong in my brief absence. Then I descended to speak with both Mael and Maeva. Basically, I communicated a new house rule. No physical teasing and wrestling. We simply are not going to play the game of who's stronger and who's quicker and who's more slippery. And, no touching the others. Permit and respect the imaginary cushion of air around each person. We live in a house that protects and cares for, not one where battles for dominance are going to take place. Maeva was reassured. Mael, no doubt, thought I was over-reacting.

And yes, perhaps I was. Growing up as the younger sister to a much bigger brother I was often a punching ball, tickling receiver, wrestling hold practice bag, you name it, for my older brother. I survived, more or less. And he was assured of his physical superiority and myself of my absolute weakness in the face of such. At one point (or a few times no doubt), I screamed at the top of my lungs, trying to break his hold, break him, and if only by breaking his ear-drums establish my own level of strength and power. No luck. I never did get out my finger nails, nor did I bite (something Jonas was once--no longer, gratefully--particularly adept at). And, I have no regrets on this point. I'm not normally a physically violent individual, and it was only the incredibly frustrating sense of being over-powered that brought it to such a pitch.

Perhaps I'm over-protecting, but I would rather prefer to limit this sort of behavior in my home, particularly as these are not siblings, but live-in guests.

I went back up to Leo after my discussions, hoping he'd have calmed down. But far from it. I spent the next hour by his side, listening, communicating, searching, and observing that my little boy is hitting those intense peaks of emotion and sensation that adolescence too often promises. The anguish, the hurt pride, the frustration, the anger, were all roiling in him pushing sleep away. Not before midnight was he finally willing to turn out his light.

The next morning wasn't a whole lot better (over and past are the days of thirty minute sulks?), but thank goodness, by the time I picked them all up at 4pm, the boys were not only talking but sharing their interest in music again. Phew! Crisis averted. For now.

Pre-adolescence

Leo is twelve. Tall, with more than a hint of a moustache, seeking responsibility, ways to earn money, being helpful. He sees himself more than a wee bit as the man of the house. And yet, he's still very much a boy. True adolescence is not yet here. We argue, but we get past it. He doesn't sulk more than ten-fifteen minutes at most. Though I contemplate the true possibility of serious sulks, perhaps already next year?

But, on a more gentle note, he is a friend to girls. Girls his age, particularly here in the US, find him just lovely, gentle, handsome, with that little je ne sais pas quoi in his definite Frenchness.

It is precious to watch what may be the last year that he will be relatively blind to his attraction to young girls his age. A full year will pass before we're back in the woods of Northern Michigan, and who will he be then? How will he see his childhood friend who will also be a year further into her young woman beauty?

Ah. We'll hold our breath. It is a beautiful scene right now. No need to rush anything. Simply watch, observe, and love these young people who are on the cusp between childhood and adolescence. I won't patronize their childhood by saying that it is simple, or ignorant, or blind, or any such thing. It is simply a different state of mind. Innocence of certain things, curiousity toward others. And what will next year bring?