Saturday, June 19, 2010

Images come to mind

Okay, I'm not going to obsess, but as you can imagine, seeing JP for the first time in two months set images turning in my brain. The one that seems most true, most potent to me is the following:

I see him as hard, dur, placing limits, strict demands, exigeances, sticking to what is correct, ordonné, structured, rational, definable, negotiable (on his terms), holding to the good manners of his upbringing, holding to his status in his local society.

I see myself as fluid -- where he puts up walls, and sets strict limits, I infiltrate. When he tries to box me in I overflow. Where there's warmth I expand.

But, where he tried to impose his structure on me, to rigidify me, I became brittle, fragile, breaking like ice.

Taking this image a step further, is he earth? and if so, clay? baked clay? dried clay? glazed? Does his hardness hold water? absorb water? or become soft with the addition of water? -- At the moment, I'd say the first. But who knows, someday perhaps he'll get over some of his issues and open up to a future person. I wish him well.

3 comments:

Roses, Lace and Brocante said...

Bonjour Madeleine,

A lovely post! What a strong gracious character you are.
Well done on getting through THAT day.
HE must be in awe of you.
I can't comment on what fibre he is but great that you are breaking it down like that!

Come & visit me again and I'll get the teacups out and make you so welcome!

Mathilde said...

I also wish you good luck with the future man !

Madeleine Vedel said...

Thank you both! and bien-venue Mathilde. A future man... who and when and where? Getting over this one has been a rough path... It will be a long while till I'm ready to invest again in another human being (beyond my children and friends).