I do believe I've just lived a cliché... or at least, a scene out of a movie.
I removed all my belongings last week, right? I'd finally had enough and did the act that actually resonated and startled. I then went back on Sunday, strong and present and received the two importers. I then said salût and went back to my life in Avignon, to gather strength, to find more translating jobs, to be with my friends, my kids, etc.,
And, Tuesday morning, I received an SMS -- Tu me manques, je veux te voir. That I'd not seen the one the night before perhaps strung out the tension.
And so I responded, Ah bon, quand? où?
And he responded, this morning. Okay I said.
And so, concessions made, much discussed (or not), we shall try again.
What is it about leaving someone and being strong and clear doing so that makes him turn around and come chasing after you?
I'm amused, pleased, a bit hesitant, but willing to be serious and make it work... I trust the yoyoing is over for the relative futre.
5 comments:
well Madeleine, I don't know what to say... I've seen this happen so many times, to myself and friends. And usually it works a while and goes back to the same old thing. And yet I hope that it will work fine for you. I know you are a big girl and a very strong lady, you will give it all you got and if it doesn't work out you'll pick up the pieces, once again. After all, what is stable and secure in life? Lately some happenings in my life have reminded me that nothing is. We just have to live with the insecurity. The important is to live to the fullest whatever we have decided to live, is it not?
Wise words Airelle, yet isn't every story different?
Do what you feel is right Madeleine.
Do it in full conscience so you don't later think that you fooled yourself.
Give it your best shot but stay fully aware and...cautious?
Airelle -- yes, part of me is wondering, and part of me is pleased. Is what I could live with him what I want for the forseeable future? or not? if concessions are made and a true commitment offered, I'm willing to try once again -- it seems he's finally realized that I could leave and rather than be the standoffish one, he's reaching out. We may be doomed, or not. If necessary I'll walk away once again, and this time for good. But right now, I'm feeling hopeful and willing and careful not to lose myself.
Don't know if you've read the wonderful Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. If not, do. Her latest book, the sequel to the above, I purchased yesterday so haven't yet started. The woman in the bookshop was full of enthusiasm as I approached the counter, book in hand. The title is Committment. After a disasterous first marriage and subsequent falling for another, they now have to marry because of US immigration laws, and she explores the whole idea of Committment in this new book. Hope this helps.
I very much enjoyed Eat Pray Love, and gave the French version to JP last year for his b-day. I will read her latest book -- the comments haven't been as favorable, but I find Elizabeth Gilbert and interesting woman, and yes, perhaps a kindred spirit...
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